Reading Time: 3 minutes
As you’re probably aware, Meghan Markle is currently working hard to make a name for herself as a lifestyle mogul.
And with a successful Netflix cooking show and her own line of luxury housewares, she’s off to a good start.
But the established icons of that world — like Martha Stewart — may not have been as welcoming as Meghan would have hoped.
And now, the Duchess of Sussex has gone on the attack against Stewart, making it clear that no one will stop her from claiming her place as queen of the kitchen.
Meghan to Martha: ‘Don’t test me’
“I had the entire British tabloid media come after me — and those people are full-blown evil. If Martha Stewart thinks I’m scared of her, she’s got another thing coming,” Meghan said this week in an interview with Sidd Finch of Variety.
“There’s only so much disrespect I’m willing to tolerate, and if Martha keeps pushing me, she’s gonna find out where my line is,” the duchess added.
“I don’t want the situation to get physical, but I’m not opposed to taking it there. I’m from LA, okay? What Kendrick did to Drake will look like an act of mercy by the time I’m done with Martha.”
Obviously, these are not the kind of comments we’re accustomed to hearing from Meghan.
But it’s worth noting that she and Prince Harry have been forced to deal with one controversy after another in 2025. And clearly, all that negative press is beginning to take a toll.
“So we’re supposed to think Martha is this supreme badass because she hangs out with Snoop and she served some time? B-tch, please,” Meghan continued, adding:
“If you ask me, they should’ve left that loser in jail. She was more useful making pinecone centerpieces for her fellow jailbirds than she’s ever been out here.”
Not to be outdone, Martha took to social media to respond with some scathing remarks of her own.
“Oh, is the Duchess mad at me?” Martha wrote in a lengthy screed that appeared on her Facebook page at 3:17 this morning.
Stewart also added a photo of Queen Elizabeth II, writing, “Meghan, I might be 83, but this won’t be the first time that you got wrecked by an old lady.”
Reached for comment, fellow lifestyle maven Gwyneth Paltrow told Variety:
“Honestly, I hope they settle it in the ring. I’m sick of all the yapping from those two. And if either one of them tries to come at me, I’ll roll up with my whole Goop Troop behind me, know what I mean?”
The outlet reports that Gwyneth proceeded to make “elaborate” gunshot sound effects for several minutes.
We really don’t know what to say about this story, other than — April Fools!
