Key points
- The artist of the Tattoo Sai Antonio says that she has found healing in the art of pointillism after being sexually abused as a child known to her family.
- After recovering his memory from abuse, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD and a dissociative disorder as an adult.
- Antonio specializes in the art of punilism and hand -boiled tattoos.
Antonio said he could not imagine a life without putting paper or ink pens on the skin. Art has not only become an exit for self -expression, he said he had been indispensable to help her claim her sense of himself.
Points doing everything
Antonio, who moved with his parents to Australia in 2006, still lived in the Philippines.
A young Sai Antonio (left) with his twin sister, Zai (right). Credit: You know Antonio
She said that every time the abuse occurred, she blocked him from her mind.
I think it was the way to deal with my mind. It was as if nothing happened. I dissociated.
Sai Antonio, tattoo artist
“Unfortunately, what happened to Sai was not a unique event. It was also a horrible betrayal of someone who should have taken care of him.”
The developing brain may feel danger. There are automatic answers as the child develops and grows. For her, one of the ways in which she faced was to put that memory aside. This happens.
Donn Tantengco, registered psychologist
“Without knowing it, I think art became my therapy. I expressed my feelings that way. I drew a lot as a child. Most of my drawings were abstract,” he said.
One of Sai Antonio’s previous works Credit: You know Antonio
“I had much easier to start my drawings with points, so I attracted the punctilism, an art technique that uses points to create an image.”
Like the points they create an image in Puntillismo, Antonio said that his need for art began to make sense when the pieces of his forgotten past rose to the surface when he was 28 years old.
Discovery after dissociation
“I confirmed with my twin sister Zai that everything was real. He learned about abuse, but he saw that he was dissociating,” he said.
She has always been my protector, so I didn’t want to mention me. She thought she was better without remembering.
Sai Antonio, tattoo artist
Zai (left) and Sai (right) Antonio say they are the protectors of the other. Credit: You know Antonio
According to Tantengco: “Not remembering was an advantage because I protected it; however, in my experience, it is very rare that abuse survivors simply go through life ‘normally'”.
Tantengco explained: “With dissociative amnesia, you can remember your life, except for that particular traumatic moment. You can remember where you lived, where you studied … but you will not remember the trauma.”
Did is almost like an experience outside the body, as trauma is not happening to you. It is like a third person perspective. It is as if you had a drone above yourself and you were in that drone looking at yourself.
Donn Tantengco, registered psychologist
“I drew a lot when I was a child; but I moved to Australia, I settled, working, married … I forgot about art while I was making life ‘; but rediscovering why I turned to art in the first place made me want to do it again.”
Sai Antonio and his family Credit: You know Antonio
Hand -colored tattoos
“My twin, who works as a photographer in Adelaide, told me about a client who had to do hand tattoos. I investigated about it and became interested in getting one.”
A hand tattoo of Sai Antonio’s portrait in her husband’s arm. Credit: You know Antonio
After doing his research, he said he found a tattoo tattoo in Melbourne.
“I got one and looked at how the tattoo was done. I felt he could do it. He felt very similar to the art I do,” he said.
I also liked that the technique was similar to the traditional tattoos made by Apo Whang -od, only the materials were different.
Sai Antonio, tattoo artist
“The hand -called tattoos take longer to do so, but they look more natural compared to the tattoos of the machine that look like stickers on the skin. There is a hardness and delicacy for them that I like,” Antonio shared.
The technique is also much more gentle for the skin, healing is much faster and the process is more intimate.
Sai Antonio, tattoo artist
A soft touch
“There are two meanings for ‘Mayumi’. In Filipino, ‘Mayumi’ means ‘Gentil’; and the other meaning is ‘Mayumi’ as a name, which we choose for our first baby … for the child who aborted. So that word means a lot,” he said.
“As children, we all attract art, colors, music … Sometimes we lose that. My art is a reminder that I am still that child. I’m still dreaming. I’m still healing and I want to do more things.”
