‘I’ve been looking for him for 10 years’: The emotional toll of being your own investigator

‘I’ve been looking for him for 10 years’: The emotional toll of being your own investigator


The true content of the crime has never been more popular, and technology is making citizen investigations more and more accessible. But anyone can be a detective? Kumi Taguchi of Insight joins the guests who have been in charge of finding answers when the authorities fall short and ask if they are finally helping or hindering. Look at the citizen detectives at 8.30 pm (AEDT) on Tuesday, April 1 in SBS or Live On .
10 years have passed since the last time I saw my brother’s face, I heard his laugh or felt any sense of peace.
The date August 15, 2015 will be recorded in my memory forever as the day my brother Rigby disappeared, 53.
It was the day I started a trip to a nightmare from which I cannot escape.
The passage of time has done little to opillate the pain of missing it.
On that fateful day, Rigby called Mom to tell him that he was on his way home and was catching a Perth Rockingham train.
The next day, Mom asked me if I had seen or listened to him. He could hear the concern in his voice.

I tried to reassure her, but instinctively, I knew something was wrong.

A man and a woman hug as they smile at the camera.

Stephenie (right) says she and her brother Rigby (left) were close. Fountain: Supplied

I called Rigby immediately, waiting for our brief habitual talk. When he did not respond, I called again and again, every attempt to meet with silence and fill myself with growing panic.

Two days later, my concern had become a disgusting concern that stirred in my intestine. I called his friends but nobody had seen him.
Around a week later, I went to the police. They told me to return if Rigby did not appear in a week or two. I felt it was as if his disappearance was inconsequential.
I returned on September 4 and begged them to review their bank accounts and by phone, anything to find it.

I remember that the officer told me that, as 53 -year -old adult, Rigby had the right to disappear if he wanted.

I was stunned. His phone was dead, nobody had seen him.

This was not like him and I felt they didn’t seem to care.

Days, weeks and months

Blurred days in weeks of dead ends.
I made calls to all the hospitals that imagined every horrible scenario, I left notes at the doors of friends and led to look for it.

Weeks later, I tried the police again, but the officer he had spoken had left permission and did not leave notes in the file. I had to explain the case again to another officer and assured me that they would monitor and review the transactions of their phone and bank.

More weeks they extended with each conversation with the police only deepening my frustration.
The officers would leave licensed, they would pass the case to another person, and let me pleaded with taking me seriously and reviewing the records of their bank, your phone and images of CCTV.
Every time I pressed for action, I found what I saw as delays and excuses.
I felt trapped in a system of bureaucracy and indifference.

A system that was not built for urgency or for families that cling to hope.

‘A sad feeling of resignation’

For October, I was not patient and asked the media to help me.
I feel this made the police act.
Finally, it seemed to me that they began to continue and investigating what I had been asking for all the time. They confirmed that their bank records did not show transactions and their phone was disconnected.

Frustantly, they told me that CCTV’s footage of the Perth Station, the last place Rigby was seen, was now innumerable.

A poster calling attention to a missing person. It includes a photo of a man and the words 'Rigby Fielding'.

Rigby’s family still doesn’t know what happened to him the day he disappeared in 2015. Fountain: Supplied

In November of that year, I felt a sad feeling of resignation.

Despite all my efforts to speak with the police and the media, and the hiring of private investigators, it was clear that the system was not equipped to manage cases such as Rigby’s.
In December, the police found the Rigby bag in the Spectacles wetlands, about 30 km south of Perth, and registered the area.

But nothing interest was found: another dead end.

‘I can’t stop searching’

Ten years later, I’m not closer to the truth.
Now I am in the process of requesting a coronial investigation into the death of Rigby, which I hope can bring some answers.

I live with a disturbing understanding of the indifference of our systems to personal loss.

A woman in a suit is in a brown background with a neutral expression on her face.

Stephenie refuses to give up his search for answers about the disappearance of his brother Rigby. Fountain: Supplied

For me, Rigby’s disappearance has become a symbol of everything that breaks into the systems destined to protect us.

You may never know what happened to Rigby.
But despite that, I can’t stop searching.
Not because I am driven by any irrational hope, but because I owe it to him and myself.
I need to find my brother.
Grieveline provides confidential support in 1300 845 745 and through
Readers seeking support with mental health can contact beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. There are more information available in. It supports people from cultural and linguistically diverse origins.
And for more stories about sex, relationships, health, wealth, pain and more, go to Organized by Kumi Taguchi. Follow us in him , , or wherever you get your podcasts.



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