Final votes of an infernal season of married at First Sight Australia

Alex Casey farewell to a truly confused season of the big size of television.

(To be read aloud in the traditional married in the First Sight Final Vows Style, also known as the cadence and confidence of an eight -year -old child making a school speech about the invention of the phone.)

Married at First Sight Australia,

From the first moment I eye you, I knew we were on a rocky ride together. Her first episode had a proud commercial wife, a blatant misogynist, a ghost Frenchman and a bride’s drunk sister who threatened the production because she did not receive a fishing meal. Little did I know at that time that these were the four Knights of MAFS-Pocalypse, and what would come in the next three months would test me ways you never tested me before.

With every day that passed on the experiment, things seemed to get worse for us. There was Tim, the unsuspecting physical teacher who said he was looking for a natural and confident woman – but then clarified that he really wanted someone little blond. There was the godfather who was angry that Tony should have been “awarded” with a much younger woman than him. There was Jake, who had no scruples saying, “I’m not racist, but I especially like Caucasian people.”

Where wisest people would have tuned here, I was loyal to you. We had a good time together over the years – Lucinda Light and the can man, masses à la Troy, Nasser aspiration of his underwear. I clung to these moments transcendent of hope and happiness, while Adrian manipulated Awhina through her murmurs, and even when Paul punched the wall and got nothing but an extra eyebrow frowning from expert John.

Sometimes I really felt that you were illuminating me. You showed me images of a “footsie” between Adrian and Sierah at dinner, and then never returned to him. You suggested an emotional case between Dave and Veronica, but also hanging it. Where I do not blame you are the incomprehensible story of Ryan and Jacqui – one day alien anthropologists will study this filming to find out where and how humans have gone so wrong.

This does not mean that there were no happy memories of our time together. When Rhi and Jeff first saw each other and realized that they were combined with an old flame – “Hi Rhi”, “Hey Jeff” – was one of the moments of the great reality of recent years. I also liked how the editors had fun with Ryan and his Katana sword, and at that dinner where Teejay kept calling Beth “Darling”, despite his warm feelings.

Honey, in Jacqui’s words, I tried my ass – “my literal ass” – to try to make things work between us. I made huge personal sacrifices, losing huge pieces of pop zeitgeist culture in white lotus and compensation, all because you demanded a lot of individual time every week. I have long believed that television of reality provides information about the human experience that no other genre can, but this season made me think that we may have gone too far with the glass.

A decade ago, you felt like a true social experiment, with the potential to clarify and educate people about the parties of themselves and their relationships on which they could not have reflected. But in 2025, after a long day of headlines about the horrors of humanity, the last thing I want to see is the horrors of humanity in a cocktail dress and very tight pants, barely kept aligned by three experts in the midst of their professional fields.

Married at first glance, you manipulated emotionally, wrinkled me and pulled me. To quote our New Zealand representative Jacqui once again: in a world of red flags, you were the red carpet. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I’m sure I’ll take time in the coming months to reflect on this feeling and reevaluate our relationship status. I’m sorry, married to First Sight Australia, but this is where we go along separate ways. It’s not me: I’m you.